Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dear Utah,


You are a beautiful state. Everyone in the world should get the chance to see how wonderful you are. But some things about you just kinda drive me crazyyy...
This is a venting post. There is really no reason for it. No specific target. Not any incident that triggered it, just a build up over time.

I have lived here for 20 years, all my life, and I really do love it. There is no other place in the world like Utah and I constantly feel blessed that I can look right out my window and see enormous mountains covered in white. It almost seems like we live in a snow globe, a perfect little scene trapped inside glass that gets shaken up by a kid at Christmas. Funny thing is, it really feels like that too. Like our lovely, little state is surrounded by a giant glass covering, a bowl, or a bubble which prevents anything on the outside world from coming in.
Everyone here seems to love the security and isolation but it's really not normal people! Open your eyes!! There is more to life!
Lately all I can think about is how much I just can't wait to leave this place. And it's not just because I'm the minority, trust me, I'm VERY used to it. It's just everyday I feel like I live on the set of a movie. Nothing real happens here, and no one seems to notice.
When I was younger I was really shy. Slowly over time I opened up and little by little I broke out of my shell. That's not to say that I don't sometimes fall back into that place, but I know for a fact that I am a totally different person now, than I was way back then. But I have come to realize that the more I act like myself, the less I "fit in".
This isn't a problem, I have plenty of friends, and I am very happy with my life, but sometimes I just feel like everyone around me (with some exceptions) is just so fake.
I have, on multiple occasions, seen people swear to something they believe in and then turn around and act another way. I just can't understand why there is such a need to hide who you are. Everyone around me lives in secrecy, I swear. They all pretend to be one thing and then later deny it. Don't anyone take this the wrong way, as I said before, I'm not targeting one individual, I feel like it's everyone as a whole!
Normally I would think this was kinda weird, but it wouldn't really bother me. The reason that I do feel so bugged right now is because of all the judging in this state. Everyone has a right to act the way they want, lie when they feel necessary etc. But that doesn't mean you can then turn around and judge me! ESPECIALLY when I KNOW you have all been there done that.
So please stop.
Just because I don't believe the same thing as you, doesn't mean I don't have beliefs.
And just because I don't follow the same guidelines as you, does not make me immoral.
I know that we all have the right to make our own choices and I feel I do a really good job of respecting every one's personal decisions. However, a lot of times I don't feel like the same respect is returned. I'm not asking for people to stop caring, but before jumping to conclusions make sure you have all the facts, and educate yourself!
I would love to thank all of you open minded people out there reading this. I love you all. And I'm sure you know who you are. If at any point in this post you thought, "oh that Annie is a bitch!" then I'm sorry. I didn't write this to offend anyone. But if you can see where I am coming from then you are probably not fake. And if you just got offended because I wrote the word "bitch" then you should probably venture out of Utah for a few days. Please!!!

This is a judgment free zone people. Feel free to comment as you please.

8 comments:

  1. I love you and every single thing about this post. I have had the exact same thoughts on my mind for months now. Like how do people live the lives they do sometimes? IT BOGGLES MY MIND! I know for a fact that you and I have bigger hearts than most people at this school. love this post.

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  2. Utah, the state, is beautiful inside and out. Too bad the same can't be said about the people. You know how I feel about that place. Get out as soon as you can, Anne.

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  3. I totally agree as well. It's a "bubble" for lack of better word. People just don't understand the outside world. which to them, is anything out side of Utah. I would love some of the people at this school to come to Arizona for a few days and just walk around the more crowded places.... hear, see, and taste the real world.

    that's all. but UT does have great people. just gotta find them.

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  4. Annie we don't know each other very well, but I still want to say a comment, I will make it short and sweet "Well said." I swear everyone here is either brainwashed by the predominant religion or completely rebellious towards the other direction, unfortunately for us middle class people we have to suffer through trying to squeeze into this mold, we make it through because we have a little broader perspective on life, and can see things in a more open minded view. Thank you for giving me hope that there are a few other people like me that lie just in the "middle."

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  5. Thank you so much for all of your comments everyone!! It made my day to hear you guys agree with me and that I'm not alone in this realization. I love you all!

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  6. Amen! It drives me CRAZY when people judge others because of what or who they believe in. You are not alone in thinking all this!

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  7. K wow Great post! That was seriously very well written, and very truthful. I agree with all that you said, People just need to realize that everybody really is a good person. If you just take 5 minuets to actually get to know somebody, anybody, and have no pre-concieved judgments, chances are you will like them. Everybody has a soul, doesn't matter who they are, what they say, or what they believe in, we all go through the same things; happiness, love, pain, sorrow, success, failure. I wish everybody could realize this. Oh and by the way when i read this i was listening to the the song "Time" from the inception soundtrack and really it made the read soooooooooooo EPIC!!!! i suggest everybody read it while listening to this song. Seriously annie try it. oh and i haven't talked to you for a while so you are probably thinking this is way random, and it is cause this is probably the first time i have posted something on a blog…yes it was that good. hope all is well in Logan

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  8. K, Annie, THANK YOU for saying this! Ryan is Presbyterian and I feel like so many people judge both of us because of it. I can't wait to get out of here either. Going to Europe for the Summer was the best thing I've ever done for myself. Nothing happens in Utah. Oh man, I could totally go on a tangent right now...

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