Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Missing You.

The memory of September 11th, 2001 breaks my heart.
Although I was so disconnected and far away from NY, living here now makes me emotional at the thought of the tragic events that took place on that day. And it's overwhelming to think that all the people lost could have been my current neighbors or friends.

And so today is a day to remember. 

I can't describe the feeling that is circulating around the city today as New Yorkers reminisce about the day eleven years ago. 
As I sit here and watch the footage replay in real time I can only imagine the terror that was felt. These are the streets I walk everyday. 
Personally, I remember my mom waking me up that morning and having me watch the news for her as she showered. I remember seeing the second plane hit and being frightened and upset and terribly confused. But, for me it wasn't very real. I was only eleven years old and living all the way in Utah which seemed so far away. I watched as people mourned the loss of their loved ones. And I think that day, eleven years ago, was the first time I really understood how tragic death could be. Because as a small, innocent, and very sheltered fifth grader, I had never experienced loss before. 

My lifetime has now doubled. And, as a twenty-two year old, I would still describe myself as fairly innocent. I have, however, felt the sting of death in my life now.

As you all probably know, I was once in love with a boy named Tanner. 
There was a time where we were inseparable. 
And we were very happy. 

Two days ago marked the seven month anniversary of Tanners death.   

And so, even though I was not directly affected by 9/11 I think this day, along with many remembrance days, bring up memories of any loved ones lost. No matter when or how. 

On this day, as I pay tribute to the victims that lost their lives in this beautiful city, that is now my home, I am also remembering someone I miss. 

You can't really see him in these photos but I still like them.

Tan, I miss you. Always.
But I know you are watching out for us.
And I credit you for every good thing that happens in my life lately.

Can't believe it's been 7 months.. 
I thought about posting this last month
but I didn't know what to say.

love you.

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